I wrote my letter to the whole of Australia. As I hinted in the last bmag, there was a bombshell about what changed my life. Here’s an abridged version:
“My dear Australia, I’ve been disrespectful towards you. You educated me (even if that did mean sitting me next to one Kyle Sandilands at Manly State School), you introduced me to my wife, you employed me (including that dream uni job as mystery shopper at McDonalds! How can I ever forget sitting in the loo at Maccas shoving a thermometer into french fries?), and you embraced me in a very prominent and public way as a breakfast radio presenter on your national broadcaster.
“Yet for all of these 32 years, I have continued to think of another as my motherland. It has taken me all this time, but I finally see how this must hurt and confuse you. So today, I am writing to ask – dear Australia, please can we formalise our relationship? Australia, I have loved you for a long, long time. Will you have me as one of your own? PS: I may still support England in the Ashes. PPS: can I let you know after the Second Test?”
I am sorry it’s taken so long. Was it really a bombshell? To some, I guess the surprise is more that I’m not already an Aussie rather than the fact I’ve finally applied. I’ll let you know when Australia (i.e. the Immigration Department) replies.
In what’s been a very busy couple of weeks, I also wrote and performed “A letter to the Woman Who Changed My Life” at an event called Men of Letters.