I’ve had a gutful of techno-snobs. A couple of weeks ago, when I posted a tweet “Sydney Morning Herald going tabloid/compact from tomorrow. Is The Age doing the same?”, @BrettS69 replied “Do they still sell paper newspapers? Really?”

That same day I posted a tweet: “Two weeks ago, I rang bank to request something. They said they’d call back. I’ve now decided I should call them and no record of my initial call.” @Trimega responded: “Who calls a bank anymore?” And, I can’t begin to tell you how much e-laughter I cop whenever I admit that I still have an AOL email address.

I recently turned 41 and am starting to get an understanding of what it’s like to be ridiculed by the next generation. And I don’t like it. I do my best to keep up – heck, I know what Pheed is! But when I mentioned all this to a 60-ish fellow customer at the bakery the other day, he just nodded slowly, smiled and said: “You have a long way to go yet!”

So at the risk of sounding curmudgeonly and stuck-in-my-ways, leave me alone! Yes, I still buy the paper. Yes, I ring the bank. And while we’re at it, no I won’t use self-checkout at the supermarket, because I believe that’s taking people’s jobs away. I much prefer to buy from a shop in Brisbane than order online from overseas. I choose 2D over 3D. And I still have a street directory in the car!

Look, I’m not anti-technology but I believe we should be allowed to make our own choices and move at our own speed, without the judgement of others.

Conjoined glasses

And now, perhaps the most useful thing you’ll read today! We’ve all made the mistake of stacking glasses and having two stick together. My wife Nikki recently came home with a dozen tumblers, unusual in that they had lumps or bumps of glass all around the inside. They looked great but those bumps really knew how to hold onto another glass!

The first night we used them, it happened! I just could not separate the two glasses! So, I turned to Twitter and Facebook for ideas (as I said, I’m not anti-technology). Solutions on Twitter included “Run under hot water” (@LovelyWife), “Twist” (@LaurenTrim), “Tap around rim” (@RoBaumgart) and “Put them in the freezer” (@Edumak8). There was also this from @Jim_Pembroke: “Fill top glass with a good whiskey, straight, ice if you must, and drink. Repeat until the bottom glass blurs into obscurity”! And from @SEQMW: “There is nothing you can do except smash one glass. But which one? It’s like choosing a favourite child!”

Meanwhile, on Facebook, Neil Symes suggested “run it under cold water”, Kathryn Cruise said “bottom in hot water the way to go” and Bill McDonald wrote “small side to side shimmies, while gently pulling in opposite directions. Throw the odd twist in there. Make it look fancy!”

In the end, it was a combination of Twitter and Facebook solutions that did the trick. So write this down. From my mum on Facebook, “pour washing up liquid into the top where the two glasses are stuck” and from @RobertHoge on Twitter, “cold water in the top glass, place the bottom third of the bottom glass in hot water and give it a few minutes”. Hey presto! It worked!

Once the ordeal was over, former radio host Ian Skippen turned blogger (for laughs, please check out www.ianskippen.blogspot.com.au) told me: “Never stick a glass into a glass. You can never decide which glass is half full or half empty. One glass is always half full. Don’t thank me. Just say…glassias!”

Improving wine

On the subject of glasses and drinking, a local winemaker showed me a simple method he uses to improve a bottle of red. Decant into a big jug, then pour forcefully into another jug and back into the first. Repeat, getting more and more dramatic, pouring from higher and higher. Depending on who you’re drinking with, you may want to pour the wine back into the bottle before serving. It’s all about aeration, of course. Nothing new there, but as we’ve found, getting the jugs out makes for an exciting pre-dinner show for guests!


As seen in bmag issue 254